Saturday 5th March 2022 | Melbourne Assembly Rooms

Tickets £15 - Unreserved seating

Doors 7:15pm for 8pm Start

Our licensed MARs BAR will be operating contactless payments. 

Tickets available here >>

We have COVID-19 Safety Measures in place at our venue, which reflect current Government guidelines and it is important that you are aware of these before booking and attending the show, please read them here >> We will inform you of any updates that may affect your visit via our website and Facebook pages - Thank You.


Put on yer finest knitted gladrags, style your barnet, put on your dancing shoes and bring your finest singing voices, as we cordially invite you to witness the Greatest Show On Earth (in tank-tops). 

Hailing from Barnsley Rock City in t'North, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are on a mission! Determined to follow in their spiritual father’s immortal footsteps and keep his legacy alive, they have a talent for Bar-Stewardizing other famous people’s songs with new comedy lyrics, on acoustic geetar, ukulele, banjo, fiddle, mandolin, accordion, keyboard and the world's first synthesizer ukulele. 

To complete their squeaky-clean image, brothers-from-other-mothers Scott, Björn and Alan have become instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish choice of knitwear.

A band that is both perpetually on the move and joyously independent, since forming in 2006, they have played almost 1000 side-splitting shows to date, and have brought smiles and belly-laughs to audiences across the UK; from Barnsley to Barnstaple, from Glasgow to Glastonbury. They continue to wow audiences with their anarchic live shows and a fine selection of their greatest hits, including the likes of “Jump Ararnd”, “The Lady In Greggs”, "How Deep Is Your Glove?", "Nandos", “Paint 'em Back", "Walking In Manpiss" and “If I Could Punch A Face… It’d Be Justin Bieber’s”.

Scott Doonican: Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, Synthesizer Ukulele, Banjulele
Björn Doonicansson: Tenor Banjo, Mandolin, Fiddle, Vocals, Flat-Pack Furniture Assembly
Alan Doonican: Accordion, Keyboards, Vocals, Eye-Candy of the Band

"The best thing to come out of Barnsley since the A61 to Sheffield"
Jarvis Cocker, Pulp


"The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are very, very funny... one of the hardest working bands on the planet."
Mike Harding, Comedian, Folk Musician, Author & Broadcaster


"Loved The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican. Great fun"

Jason Manford, Comedian


"A ridiculous family of genius, hilarious, irresistible music makers, currently crowd-surfing to the bar all over the great county of Yorkshire and beyond, into the venues and music festivals of the UK. They're quality."
Eliza Carthy MBE, Folk Musician​

"One of the hardest working bands around, great entertainers, and the best pastiche outfit I know of." 
Maartin Allcock, music producer and former member of Fairport Convention & Jethro Tull

All content on this page courtesy of